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Thank you, thank you, thank you. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You are a hero and your parents are definitely heroes, too! Thank you so much for your lovely message. Helen, Thank you so much for sharing. Wish I was able to read this when my college sophomore daughter was in the throes. I may have been able to handle some bad moments better. I felt I was always second guessing myself. I also agree with the frustration regarding many medical providers when dealing with adult ED. Things are so much better nearly 6 years later though we are all forever changed by the experience.

Never give up! Thank you Karen and great your daughter seems well now.

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  • Reflections on Our Journey So Far?

It also sounds like you got lucky in the end with treatment teams. I truly hope your daughter remains well and has a very happy future, Helen x. Helen — your words are inspirational! Thank you for taking the time to write this, it is incredibly important for parents to know that their steadfast support and encouragement can help battle this awful disease. I appreciate your comments, thank you. Yes, help from loved ones and to feel less alone can be so vital in this isolating illness.

You parents are truly remarkable! Helen, Thank you for writing and sharing. You are amazing, strong and brave. I see your strength and your power. You are doing hard work, as you know I understand it. I believe in you and I know you will fully heal. Thank you.

You got me… Thank you Hadley… you know friends who understand the illness like no one else are also vital in this recovery process too! What a meaningful and generous message to all of us! Thank you, Helen, for allowing us to see and to cheer for your family as you do this together.

Inspirational and important!!! Thank you so much Laura! All your work has made such a difference to me in this illness and recovery now too so a big thank you for all you do, Helen x. Hi Helen, After listening to the tragic story of Sarah on Tabitha Farrars latest podcast yesterday it is so inspirational and bluntly honest to read your account on your road to recovery today.

You have had to overcome many hurdles so far and there will be many ahead but when you truly reach the stage when ED can take no more you have come out fighting. Keep kicking and screaming and swearing defo swearing and get all of that emotion out rather than burying it within and feeling guilty. My daughter has suffered with AN for 16 years and she too has reached that place.

My Journey So Far — Muku Nomi

She too is a fighter and swearer. I will hold your words within my heart and they will give me inspiration to help my daughter in the way your parents have helped you. You are a very special person Helen. Keep fighting and never ever stop. You will get there and then you will be truly happy. Thank you so much Steve for such kind words. You are right that the swearing helps! Any death is avoidable. Thank you again and you too keep strong and keep swearing with your daughter through this!

Thank you Helen for your insightful read. As the mom of a 13 yr old recently diagnosed, hospitalized, and discharged after two months of refeeding, I am grateful to get an inside version of what is going on.

The Journey So Far: Reflections & revelations

Bless you for sharing. Your email address will not be published. Reflection by Helen I was 27 years old, in a happy relationship and with a good career when anorexia first entered my life.

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In the moments I scream and push away people trying to help, the inner me is at her most despairing. Inside, I am desperate to escape the illness and I just want people to comfort, feed and reassure me that I am safe. Slowly I am learning to be vulnerable, stop pushing away and accept the help I really need and deep down want. When I commit to and put in recovery action and avoid engaging in mind games, the anxiety is much less, counter to what the eating disorder tells me!

A reflection on scaling Agile

If I face a fear, although at the time it is hard, afterward there is a sense of victory and accomplishment. If I allow too much time to pass between eating, the eating disorder thoughts quickly become overwhelmingly more powerful. Weight gain is ok… flesh on the body is ok. Recovery is exhausting, overwhelming at times and all-consuming. But sticking with it is the only option I see. There are incredibly dark times when I want to crawl out of my skin with anxiety and the thought of carrying on feels unbearable. It is important to remember that these moments come but also pass — everything is fluid.

Interspersed with the dark moments are moments of achievement, glimmers of hope, and occasional exhilaration. Anxiety masks hunger. The hunger is there and comes through if I can remain calm. I never knew I could swear so much but sometimes it really does help!!! I already knew that I was very fortunate with my parents, but having moved back in with them for a while to focus on recovery, I have learned just how amazing they really are. They have put up with tears, tantrums, slamming doors, frustration and anger and they have patiently stayed beside me supporting and encouraging.

Eating disorder recovery is more than a full-time job. In the past, I told myself I could recover while working, studying or traveling. I believed I could recover without any help. Those were eating disorder tricks.

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I am not saying that nobody can recover alone but it is 10 times harder. Although asking for and accepting help, while putting my life on hold was terrifying, it is the best thing I have ever done. Just being present and offering unconditional love. There are times I have laid on the bed sobbing and Mum has just been with me, stroking my hair, allowing me to feel loved and comforted. Remaining calm and present, despite my screams, anger, frustration, and tears. Not allowing me to grow complacent in recovery but to keep encouraging me to face fears head-on.